14 7 25 24

 Elodie. Our miracle baby. Given to us by God through miracle after miracle! As I write she is nestled in her basinette all snug and beautiful. There are times when I can't stop staring at her, times when all I want to do is hold her close to me and many times where I thank God for being able to stare at her and hold her!
Elodie was born 14 weeks ago. She was due to be born 7 weeks ago. She was almost born 25 weeks ago. We were told she had died 24 weeks ago. A whole lot of numbers that equal a whole lot of pain, and joy, tiredness, anxiety and hope, pleading and peace. The experience of God through this time has left me with the overwhelming urge to tell as many as will listen that my God is a God of miracles, the largest of which is his amazing love for us!!
Elodies story started a long time ago. Well before any one of us was born. You see God has this plan. It is a good plan, even when the world around us is going crazy. Even when nothing is perfect. When life is difficult or seems down right unfair.  God still has a good plan. Oh yes, we seem to be good at the continual stuff ups. We are experts at doing what suites us without thinking about how it affects others. Our lives are far from perfect glossy magazine images with everything tidily in its place.
There was nothing glossy or tidy about the agony of being told your baby is dead. And there was nothing tidy about the moment when the ultrasound technician told us there was a heartbeat. Nothing glossy about the waiting the expecting and the hoping for a 'positive outcome'.
But there is something incredible about the peace that came as we trusted God for the good plan he has for us all.
Elodie Rose. A reminder that not only do I have five fantastic children but also a fantastic father looking over us with love.

15 Candles and a smile

I should have written this a couple days ago but to be honest I was just too tired. After all I am now the aged mum of a fifteen year old. And with that comes a lot of angst. A lot of fights. A lot of yelling "you just dont understand" and an immense amout of eye rolling and sarcastic comments. From Jessica as well!
But seriously there are days when I say to myself "how am I going to get through this whole teenage girl mothering caper without completely loosing my marbles?" And then that shocking truth hits me square between the eyes. Not only do I have to get through it with Jess but also with four more children!!!! Aaagh! What was I thinking?
And then there are days like thursday. When you get your creative on. Make an awesome cake for the first of your fantastic five. And wait for the exclamation of joyful surprise as 15 candles are blown out and that cake is cut open.
On the outside it looked like an ordinary birthday cake. And that could have been the end of it. But oh no! This was a cake with a difference! Filled up with smartie, jaffa's and freckle yumminess, it took everyone not in the know by surprise.
Teenage girls are somewhat like that cake. You might think to yourself you have them figured out. But then that day comes when you delve a bit deeper and are surprised at the discovery that there is more to them than meets the eye. Often you are pleasantly surprised. Occasionally you aren't. Yet every day I am thankful for the fantastic five children God has entrusted me with. And oh so thankful for the strength he gives so I can say that I am 'loving life as mum'!

A rugged cross

Today I was hunting for that perfect picture to shout out to all my online friends that I am a follower of Jesus, and today is a hugely significant day for me! Good Friday.
I saw all manner of beautiful pictures. Crosses with bold sunsets or rises. Crosses with light streaming down on them from moody clouds. Bejeweled crosses made from shiny gold, silver, platinum. Delicately carved stone and wooden crosses. Crosses covered in light fabrics blowing in the wind. Bold crosses made of large posts. Twigs bunched together and draped in flowers.
Lovely!!
But on and on I scrolled. Nothing jumped out at me as the perfect picture. The perfect cross.
And then I understood.
There is nothing 'picture perfect' about what my Lord suffered on that day. There is nothing beautiful to the eye when looking at death on a cross.
There is something incredibly beautiful about the why though. Its in the why that I find inspiration. Inspiration to follow God. To serve. To cry out for a more just world. To see beauty in the ugly. To see a ragged cross with hastily nailed together posts. Splintered and rough. Stained with my Saviours blood. With YOUR Saviours blood. Ugliness and beauty all rolled into one image. One act of love. One day of affirmation. So now we KNOW that he cares. That he wants us. That he would dare give his son. FOR US!
So no beautiful picture will accompany this post. There is no image that can do justice to the stark and overwhelming beauty of all Jesus did for us that day nigh on 2000 years ago. But there are words and there is Gods spirit who challenges us to believe. Because when we seek him with all our heart we will find him.
Luke 22, 23, 24.
John 3:16

Tahlia is two!

Need I say more?
Every day involves fits of temper, hysterical crying, lots of running, and the usual coaxing to eat anything that resembles a nutritious meal.
"NO!! Its mine." the fave catch phrase of every two year old. Even when its that freakish moment that you discover fandaddies razor in her MOUTH! After a suspicious 'all is quiet' period.
Ah yes the joys of parenting toddlers...
Where did the keys go? Posted.
Where did my second shoe go? Posted.
Where did those grapes go? Posted.
Where did my sanity go? You guessed it! Posted.
Ah but the beauty of the little tornado that is Tahlia! Oh to share a fraction of her energy. Her resolve! That fiercely independent determination to enjoy life at every moment! To see value in the simple things. The joyful expression of dancing and spinning and twirling, whirling and singing your way through life!

And then....Reuben

DS#1. 13 years old and the second of my fantastic five children!
In case you are wondering what's this chick on about jumping all over the place in this introducing the kids caper..
Well really I have no better reason than this.. something they did made me laugh or cry or pull my already prematurely gray hair out!
What did Reuben do?
Let me set the stage!
7:54 on a Monday morning, coffee brewing, fanbaby feeding. Fankids clambering to get those last minute get ready for school jobs done before walking out the door.
Reub arrives at the bedroom door in typical fashion. Noisily!!
"Mum! I have an assignment for science due in today!!"
Oh yes. That's right. 15 minutes before he needs to leave he drops this little number on me.
With as much bluntness I can muster (plenty at this time of the day, pre coffee, and with the knowledge that I had asked him on a number of occasions over the weekend if he had homework to complete) I responded with the only thing a sensible mum would say "Too bad! I am not going to help you!"
To answer your questions...Yes. And No :)
So now its on with the day! Coffee is drunk. Fanbaby is asleep. Fantoddler and fandaddy are watching playschool. And I have a house inspection in two days. So off to do some 'fan'cleaning!

Lets start at the middle.

Well there you go! 9:54 on a typical Sunday night and I begin my first ever blog post!! 4 of my 5 FANTASTIC children are in bed. Hmmm..... make that 3 of my 5 children!! *off she goes to investigate that noise*.
Back again!

DS#2 thought that it was the perfect (50 bazillienth) time for another glass of water combined toilet run and " Mum I forgot to tell you something really important" conversation!  Then proceeded to tell me all about this diamond planet he heard about whilst visiting 'The Dish', and that mercury is really interesting because its a metal but a liquid. Future scientist in the making?!! Mate its 10 pm!! But then thats 10 year olds for you. Far further along the 'pushing your luck' experience than a couple others in the house. 

Before I confuse you..DS can mean many different things, dependant on the behaviour of said son or mood of mum! Tonight DS means the usual 'Darling son'. Subject to change if another glass of water is required anytime soon!
So that is introduction number one...Ethan. Master avoid bed at all costs, expert conversationalist, lover of all things quirky and the third of my children to help make life fantastic!